Frozen Heart
by ApocalypseAmerican
Summary: Aina may not be the Snow Queen, but she too has the power to control ice and snow. She, however, never learned what she is capable of. Eventually she learns that she's come to be a burden to her family, and leaves in the middle of the night, with no clear destination in mind. She just hopes that there is a person who won't see her as a burden, and will accept her.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: The standard note. Frozen belongs to Disney. Since they have not released a compliant, they do not mind amateur writers borrowing their songs. Song was written by someone that I don't know (not me), Song in movie performed by Idina Menzel. And this is not off the top of my head-at least not completely. I will take my life and place it in the story in a way. Maybe you will be able to tell what the real events behind it are. After all, doesn't everyone need to let it go?**

Life may not be a frozen adventure like the one that Anna had, but that's not to say it is not an adventure at all. Frozen is set in the 18th century, were you could not have any mental disabilities, at least not noticeable, or you would fall under death. I have Asperger's Syndrome, and as such I would be buried in an unmarked grave at that time. However, I live now, in 2014, and am just as misunderstood as I would have been then. And I feel that the powers reflect the fear and the difference of an individual struggling to understand herself and the world around her. Anyways, on with the story.

Queen Elsa ran out of the castle that day out of a deep fear that she would cause harm to others. In fleeing, she started an eternal winter. But I cannot blame her, and I cannot blame Anna either, for fault lie on neither of them. Really, I cannot say whom the blame lies on. But it not on Elsa that she was given the so-called curse that allowed her to control ice and snow. Really, I think it is a thing of beauty.

Oh right, I forgot to give you my name. My sincere apologies. My name is Aina. As for my sister, her name is Alma. She's twelve now. She's also quite silly-I still can't understand why. But it is nice to have an optimist around, cynical as I can be. Her laughter can really light up a room.

In case you're wondering what she looks like, I'll tell you; she has long, strawberry-blonde hair, is very tall and thin as a twig(she can eat all she wants and never gains a pound)

Sorry, I got sidetracked.

When I was a toddler, I would frequently- accidentally, of course-frost over things on numerous occasions. I've been told by my parents that I found it to be quite funny, that I saw it as a game. Well, they didn't find it funny, at least not after I froze our vegetable garden over twice. We nearly starved thanks to my stupid mistake. They said that there would be no more games inside the house, or anywhere for that matter. This led to a vigilant eye watching me whenever I was inside our home. But if they weren't looking, I'd use my powers to my heart's content.

I, however, refused to hide my powers. I was told on numerous occasions I never should have let them be known. But I didn't care when they said that, for I saw them as a source of gaiety for my sister and myself alike, and as a gift that allowed me to expand my creative boundaries. It was only when they laughed at me that I would cry. The laughter felt humiliating to me. It was torture, since it was the only thing that made it feel like a curse. I don't understand why it is that laughter gets to my head when it is directed at me, but I very much so wish I knew why.

When we were children-I was seven, and her four-I would create a few individual snowflakes and make her a crown. She would proceed to act like a princess, at least like the ones in her head. She was so carefree, and she still is. Sometimes I would build a cute little fort for her to call her castle; it was nothing much, just four walls, a roof, a door, and some windows. Yet that little thing made her so happy. I can still see it in my head now. Whenever we were done playing she would kick down that fort and play in the snow. It was such a sweet sight. I wish I could show you the scenes, but those days are long past.

Sometimes Alma would become sick from playing in the snow for too long. Even when it wasn't created by me, but by Mother Nature herself, my mother would scold me for causing her to be sick.

My mother wanted me to get dressed up for the Queen's coronation. Where she even got the nice clothes for us all to wear is beyond my understanding, seeing as how the little we saved up the previous year was completely used up to buy food. But I held the question back, not being in a mood to be scolded by her again.

Queen Elsa was quite distant from people at the party, and I could not help but wonder just why she acted that way, and would not join in the festivities. I never saw a laugh exit her mouth, and I didn't see her smile. I feel bad for her, and don't know why I did. I do know, however, that her younger sister walked away radiating sadness and disappointment. Her sister, Anna(I think that is her name, t has been a while) slipped out of the room somehow. Briefly looking around, I failed to catch sight of her and shrugged. Her business wasn't my business after all.

I am ashamed to say that I cowered back away from Elsa as did everyone else. My best guess, since I don't know the reason, is fear of my own being triggered.

Queen Elsa ran out of the castle that day out of a deep fear that she would cause harm to others. In fleeing, she started what we called an eternal winter. But I cannot blame her, and I cannot blame Anna either, for fault lies on neither of them. Really, I cannot say whom the blame lies on. But her powers do not make her a monster. Rather, they make her a person of divinity. But it is not on Elsa that she was given the so-called curse that allowed her to control ice and snow. Really, I think it is a thing of beauty. No curse could have allowed Queen Elsa to create her magnificent ice castle.

I, not being anywhere near as prominent in the kingdom as Anna, had no one fussing over me when I set out to find Elsa myself. I just wanted to talk to her, and to show her that there are others born with the so-called curse. I know I heard voices sometime during my hike up the North Mountain. Sometimes I wonder if that was Anna and an escort of hers. I heard them shortly after I could see the castle, and not long after that I saw some sort of snow creature throw two people. I do not know who they were, and doubt that I ever will. I ended up not taking my chances, and that I regret doing. But that's in the past, and I can't stride past the beast to talk to the queen; in fact, I will probably never speak to Queen Elsa. Personally, I feel that it is a shame that I can not, but it's to be expected when it is a personal desire of mine.


	2. 8 years

**A/N: Forgive me for any historical inaccuracies. Though I enjoy learning, I can and do and will get it messed up. Apologies for anything non-canon(mistakes) from the movie.**

**~8 years old**

Alma had gotten pneumonia after playing in my snow for too long. Our mother was furious at us, for we were rather poor and could not afford to buy medicine for her. Rather, we had to make our own. I must have asked a hundred times that day whether Alma had been feeling alright. I remember my mother got annoyed after, maybe, the tenth time I asked? I wasn't allowed to cure her boredom with a snow crown them, both because she was sick, and my powers had been the reason she was. Indirectly, I think.

I assisted my mother in building a slightly larger fire in Alma's rooms while she slept. She was so quiet. The silence was foreign to me, since Alma would usually kick and talk in her sleep very much, and often it disturbed my own sleep. But I knew she wasn't able to stop the sleep-kicking and the sleep-talking, for I had seen her try, so I did not complain about. Just her making the effort was enough for me.


	3. 10 years, pt 1

**A/N: I enjoyed the movie in part from its message to not conform, to be an individual. It is the one way to really find happiness, after all.**

**~10 years old**

"Can we have a snowball fight?" begged Alma, using the "puppy eyes" on her older sister.

"No Alma. Mom and Dad said I can't use my powers here anymore, remember?" said Aina, knowing her parents were in the kitchen, listening in on the conversation.

"Ok." Alma stuck out her lip and crossed her arms in a pout.

Once she realized this, Aina bent down next to her sister and whispered "Ok, we'll have one when mom and dad aren't around, alright?"

Alma's big green eyes lit up. "Yay"

"Shhh Alma!" hushed Aina, holding a finger up to her mouth.

Alma nodded, knowing the importance of being quiet. She just looked up at her sister, beaming.

Aina knelt down to give her sister a hug. "I'm so happy that you like my powers, Alma".


	4. 10 years, pt 2

**A/N: I'll try to keep the level of ability Aina has with her powers appropriate. Please warn me if I am excessive. And the parts where Aina is ten years old will help show her sisters love for her powers(I hope)**

**~ 10 years old**

"Aina, Aina! Can you make an ice cat for me _please_?" squealed Alma. The two girls were by the edge of the forest which was located near their home.

Aina rubbed her neck. "Maybe I can…"

Alma started jumping all around like a hyper rabbit. "Try! Try! Try try try!" she yelled excitedly.

"I am, I am!" Aina said impatiently. "You need to be quiet, so I can focus. Alright, Alma?"

"Ok," whispered the younger of the two, taking the meaning seriously for one.


	5. 11 years

"That's pretty cool. Can you show me how to do that?" asked a boy Aina had never seen before.

She shrugged shyly. "Um… I don't know". Aina played around with her fingers nervously, a shy smile settling on her face.

"Aw, come on! Why not?"

"I can't unless you can control the ice and the snow, I'm afraid".

He put a little pouty face out. "Fine".


	6. leaving, pt 1

**A/N: Told I've been told by some people I can write great stories, I still don't believe them. But that doesn't matter. I just want the readers to enjoy the story. Oh, right. When do you use … in a sentence exactly? I'm unsure if I've got it right, and want to start working on my grammar.**

**~17 years old**

"Goodnight Alma," whispered Aina to her little sister. She kissed her on the forehead before going to her room to pack and write the note. She doubted that they'd(her parents) even care that she left.

_"But maybe Alma would…"_

The thought pulled at her heart as she started writing the letter to her parents, having already finished the second letter, which was for her sister.

_Alma,_

_I hope you can understand my leaving here. It's not you, and I hope you understand that. You loved me more than both mother and fathers did, and are the sole person in this town who ever has liked or appreciated my powers. I know I will never forget the many happy memories, and I hope that you will not forget them either. I know you have also been bullied, and that it is, and was, caused by me indirectly. I have heard them say that they will stop if I go, and that I know is true. They only do it because of my powers, and since you do not have them, what reason would they have to continue? I am aware of the fact that they have been bothering you for a while. _

Aina clasped her hands together to create a snowflake for her sister.

_You see, you are the only one who has wanted me to be around. I'm deeply sorry Alma, but I have to think of everyone's feelings and not just yours. Please don't cry. If I ever learn that you cried, I am sure that my heart would break. You know I would give anything for you Alma. I just hope you can forgive me for leaving. Everything that I leave is yours Alma. I only do this in an effort to improve your life, for I love you far too much to let you suffer because of myself. I leave one last snowflake for you. I know how you love them._

_With love, from Aina._

Aina had put far more time into Alma's letter than into the letter for her parents. Why wouldn't she? It's not like they cared anyway. Nobody did but her sister. Aina doubted that she'd ever know the reason for the hate. But since she couldn't control it, she might as well go.

Aina didn't want to bring much, and it's not like she thought that she could bring a lot with her anyway. She settled on a couple etching of her and her sister, some little gifts from her sister from over the years(a pinecone ornament, a crude etch of a flower, a wool hat, and her favorite gift, flowers that were pressed in such a way as to tell their meanings), a couple blankets of different thickness(the cold didn't bother her much, but it still did), three changes of clothes, boots, two books, and an extra bag in case she picked anything up along the way.

In the extra bag she added the stories Alma had written her, and a cloak. She left the rest of the room for other items.

Aina slung the bag over her shoulder and silently shut the door.


	7. Leaving, pt 2

**I think I'm gonna write my own version my "let It Go". Here's a few lines. BTW, I need to know if I got the rating right. Can an administrator tell me, please? I think that the offense and stuff taken from some words in the English language(curses/cusses) depends in part on how laid back you are, and how religious. So can someone tell me from an unbiased viewpoint? Please?**

**Oh right, The chapters may not be uploases in order- but the order of the chapters will be correct.**

**Also, I appreciate advice. Anything helps!**

_Please let me in,_

_Please look and see,_

_I am not the girl you always thought me to be…_

"Forget them Aina. Just forget all the bastards that never could just let you be. You left them all behind, remember? They aren't a problem anymore. Their words never_ really _hurt you anyway…" Aina sighed. She had been talking to herself for a few hours now to ease her worries. She'd thought that the moment she left all those people would leave her mind. That she'd be alone, but without worries.

"If I'd only known just how wrong I was about how I'd change". Aina sighed. She hadn't thought it' be _this_ way. Meaning that she would have a very lonely life ahead of her; at she would at this rate.

"At least I can't get cold. I know I lost that ability long ago. Perhaps I was born with the insensitivity to the cold after all. Guess that's a side effect of a literal frozen heart.

"Well, that and the loneliness". Aina sighed, holding her arms close to her body. It always gave her this sense of having disappeared. And a sense of protection. She couldn't explain either.

It was not because of her powers, but it was snowing. Aina sped up her pace so as to not be caught by her sister ( Dawn was fast approaching, and her dark hair would clearly stick out in the snow). She couldn't let her be found. She wouldn't destroy Alma's chances for complete happiness.

"Don't cry. You have no good reason to anyway. You did this to make your sister happy, remember? You chose this so that you could improve her life. You just want Alma to be happy. That's why you left. You won't be missed. Don't cry. There's no point. No reason too. Just because of all the discrimination against you and your family, or the perpetual isolation you were cast in, or your exclusion from all activities. None of that's any reason to cry. None at all."

None of this helped Aina; It just made her sadder. It just made her want to cry for herself yet more.

She knew that saying she didn't regret her powers in the least was a lie. A lie she repeatedly told herself, so that she would not feel the sadness. At least, the sadness would not hold such a strong grip on her.

"How far have I gone anyway?" she murmured to herself.

With a gentle wave of her arm she covered up her tracks with fresh snow.

"_It glows so beautifully",_ she thought to herself, wearing a small smile.

She began to run. All she knew was she had to leave, she had no choice. _Just run away. Run as far as you can from here. Don't be a burden to your family anymore._


End file.
